The short answer:  Participants sit in a circle, listen from the heart and speak spontaneously and authentically of stories from their lives.

The long answer:  Council is an age-old practice that involves bringing people together in a circle for candid and heartfelt conversations.

Participants speak one-at-a-time, sharing their personal stories and experiences, rather than opinions, and they listen without judgement while others do the same. Sharing and hearing universal stories about love, loss, fear, and hope enables participants to recognize that, despite their many differences, they have much in common.

By fostering attentive listening and authentic expression, council builds positive relationships between participants and neutralizes hierarchical dynamics formed by the inequality of status, race, or other social factors. It supports a deep sense of community and fosters recognition of shared humanity and interconnectedness.

Council enables individuals to give voice to their stories, develop mutual respect and compassion for others, cultivate a compassionate response to anger, defensiveness, and violence, as well as strengthen emotional health and resilience.

The short answer:  No.  People of all faiths (or no faith at all) will feel perfectly comfortable participating.  

The long answer:  Contemplative traditions weave in and out of all religious faiths and the roots of council are embedded in cultures around the world and throughout time.

Council has no explicit values, per se, but is a practice through which values may emerge, as a group creates a generative space that invites the stories and experiences of its participants and a practice of listening without judgment or analysis is normed.

The invitation to sit in council is a call to practice not agreeing or disagreeing, believing or disbelieving, but rather to maintain a curiosity and openness to the sharing of others and an allowing of all perspectives.

Participants are encouraged to look beyond their opinions and beliefs to the stories and stirrings that are foundational and emergent and to maintain an open mind toward what comes up. Participants are often surprised by what shows up when we decide not to recite "the same old story" and spontaneously give voice to what is alive in us in this very moment.

"Sitting in close, intimate circles, gathered around a warm fire, telling stories and sharing what’s on one’s mind or in one’s heart has been a core practice of human culture since the dawn of time." The weaving of myriad wisdom traditions and teachings is a fascinating story and one can peruse this website to learn more about the evolution of the practice of council through this lineage.

The way of council draws from practices like Veche (Slavic), Satsand (Hindu), Ho’oponopono (Hawaiian), Daré (Zimbabwe), Fambul Tok (Sierra Leone), Ibitaramo (Rwanda), Diwan & Loya Jurga (Islam),  Farbrengen (Hebrew), and Quaker Devout Listening Circles, to name a few. It is constantly evolving and co-arising in many forms and, we believe, has many names.

Beyond Us and Them acknowledges its many kindred carriers – and also a distinct succession of teachers and community-builders who have helped define and codify the practice we teach today. This information is shared in council trainings and workshops and can be studied in the various sections of this website, as well as in the seminal book, The Way of Council, written by Jack Zimmerman and Virginia Coyle. We also highly recommend Jared Seide's 2021 book: Where Compassion Begins: Foundational Practices to Enhance Mindfulness, Attention and Listening from the Heart, which is used as a manual in many programs offered by Beyond Us & Them. These references notwithstanding, direct experience and interaction with veteran teachers remains the best way to learn about the diverse roots of council.

The short answer:  Everywhere and anywhere.

The long answer: While council circles and methodology are the focus of our workshops and trainings, and the basis of our programs, it soon becomes clear to participants who learn the practice that it can be applied virtually anywhere, in one form or another.

Creating a regular council practice can certainly become a very beneficial and healthy habit for a staff, a faculty, a family, an association or a community. Throughout this website, programs in schools, prisons, community based organizations and professional settings are described and the integration of council by doctors, nurses, therapists, artists, chaplains, businesspeople, politicians and family members is touched on.

One may read about council being used in new employee orientations, board meetings, back-to-school nights or memorial services, in the classroom, and on the prison yard, etc.  

​Advanced practitioners become aware of the way in which the practice of council shifts their everyday, informal interactions and relationships, as well. The embodied awareness of what one is sensing – in oneself and one's environment – that practising council engenders is often eye-opening. And cultivating skilful means of communicating with respect and clarity has a profound effect on all the relationships in one's life – even the casual contacts we often take for granted with acquaintances.

Council in intimate relationships is also a powerful and generative practice that is the subject of much interest and study (see the book Flesh and Spirit, by Jack Zimmerman and Jaquelyn McCandless for more). 

Council provides a practice and a container for deepening presence and intentional conversation. There are skills taught in our programs, workshops and trainings that provide valuable tools for creating and maintaining that container, so that it may serve the individuals and groups that engage the practice and support their intentions for making their community and the world a better place. The skills and methodology taught are intended to support the facilitation of council in a good way, so that it may be beneficial. The etymology of facilitator is "to make easy, render less difficult," from the Latin stem facilis ("easy").  We also stress care and rigor in engaging groups in council in which individuals may have differing degrees of sensitivity and vulnerability; attention to the needs of everyone in the group, care of boundaries and maintaining containment are critical elements of council facilitation.

As every situation into which council is introduced is different (different participants, different physical surrounding, different moment in the world), there is no "correct" council form or approach that is separate from the context in which it is attempted. Council must be responsive to the conditions in the moment it is offered, so as to serve that moment and foster listening and sharing that is appropriate and beneficial to the group present and to the context in which the council unfolds.  

​A strategy for council that was successful in the morning may be the wrong strategy by the afternoon, if it is not attuned to the needs of the afternoon group. Veteran council trainers develop a deep and flexible facility with council and teach skills and approaches so that those who offer council can be attuned and well-resourced.

We encourage rigor and mindfulness in working with council and an appreciation of containment and intentionality. And one learns to develop these capabilities by engaging and offering the practice and being stretched and guided by one's experience with it.

The short answer:  Stay in touch and contact us!

The long answer:  This website and our social media channels offer much background on the practice of council and a variety of ways to learn more and become involved in the work. 

Many of our kindred organizations offer programs and trainings in related modalities and you may find that much of what is encountered through myriad channels is compatible with the practice of council, if perhaps focused slightly differently.

We hope that the resources available are inspiring and inviting and that your interest is piqued enough to engage further, whether through Beyond Us and Them or the many other congruent streams. And we encourage you to join our mailing list, follow us on social media and explore whether a training, workshop or program may fit with your needs and resources or that of your community or group.

Beyond Us and Them honors the lineages and traditions, both ancient and modern, that have influenced and informed the practice of council and the many teachers who have developed and offered these teachings over time. 

Our predecessor, Center for Council, began as an initiative of The Ojai Foundation, which was host to decades of seminars, workshops, residencies and lectures by teachers and elders from a wide range of traditions and cultures.

Council, as practised within the programs and workshops offered by Beyond Us and Them, evolved from collaboration with these revered teachers and elders over the course of many years. We are deeply indebted to their generosity and insight and profoundly grateful for their care and partnership.

We also recognize that many communities and peoples have suffered and continue to suffer as a result of colonization, violence, and exploitation. Our programs do not condone the use of any language, symbols, objects, or rituals misappropriated from their cultural or spiritual context at the expense of the communities from which these elements originate.

We honor the experiences of marginalized peoples and work to hold space for all people to be empowered and connected in the community.